is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
