We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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