Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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