It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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