its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we made out on top of his cat.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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