after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
