Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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