He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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