I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
"it" just moved
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
