Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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