he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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