I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
