Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
