But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
