Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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