dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
