Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
