im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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