I didn't shave. On purpose
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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