So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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