Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
