Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
