Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
