Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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