I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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