Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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