i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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