i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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