I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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