It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize