i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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