You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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