I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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