Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
