At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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