Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
