Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
