I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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