Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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