got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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