I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
