If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
