last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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