Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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