dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
