Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize