It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
