He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
