Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize