Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
