you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
