A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
