there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
