Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We are two peas in an std pod
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
