Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
