he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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