I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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