There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I believe in your delicious
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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