i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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