My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
