She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
