THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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