Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
